Wasn't Robin Supposed To Be In This Book?

STAR TREK: SEASON FOUR #1
Thanks to the crazy success of Dark Horse’s BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER Season Eight series, I think we’re going to see a lot more of this kind of thing. Hopefully, though, they’ll be more like BUFFY and less like this, which is set after the original series ended, but before the movies began—so, I guess, during the short-lived animated series from the Seventies (the crew of the Enterprise does feature some of the strange new alien cast members from that show). This is pretty by-the-numbers stuff; a red-shirted nobody gets killed, leading Bones to say “He’s dead, Jim”, etc., etc. I know I keep coming back to BUFFY here, but that comic uses the TV show’s defunct status as a springboard for moving ahead and making major changes to the characters and status quo, but since there was still a STAR TREK movie franchise ahead and the show never had much episode-to-episode continuity anyway, this just feels more like the same old, same old. IDW has a knack for securing the rights to fan-favourite properties, but they have yet to make a compelling comic series out of them.

BATMAN #666
Remember when Grant Morrison ended his terrific NEW X-MEN arc with a head-scratcher of a final story set 150 years in the future? This stand-alone issue of BATMAN is kinda like that, only set fifteen years in the future and appearing right in the middle of his run. Damien Wayne, Batman’s possible kid, is all grown up and has taken up the mantle of the Bat in a hellish future Gotham that is under siege by a false Batman who is offering up the city to Satan. I think that’s what this was about, anyway. It all ties in to the “Three Ghosts of Batman” that we heard about last issue—the three corrupt Gotham cops who became insane replacement Batmen. We already met the gun-toting psycho Batman in Morrison’s debut issue, and we met the Venom-enhanced steroid nightmare Batman in the previous two issues. The Satanic Batman we meet here is, I guess, the third Batman. I’m sure it all makes perfect sense to Morrison, but it’ll be a while before we see his plan for this story unfold—next issue begins a three-part arc drawn by J.H. Williams III (yes!) that, so far as I know, has nothing to do with this craziness. Still, very entertaining and, at times, hilarious (the future Gotham Rogues, like Max Roboto and Jackanapes, are awesome enough in their brief appearances to make me want lots more of them).

ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER #6
And then there’s this. It’s getting a bit tiresome to continually gripe about this book, but I don’t know how else to react to it. The whole thing is so conceptually insane to me that I can’t even wrap my head around it. There’s a school of thought that says Miller is poking fun at the gritty Eighties and Nineties Batman, but a) Miller was largely responsible for that interpretation, so his mockery of that era is a bit hypocritical, and b) that kind of satire isn’t exactly timely—the so-called “Dark Age” of comics ended around 1996 with the release of stuff like ASTRO CITY and KINGDOM COME. So, what do we have this time around? Miller rips himself off with his updated Batgirl, who is essentially a retread of the Carrie Kelley Robin from THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS. James Gordon provides a load of plot exposition by having a cheery long-distance chat with his extramarital fling, Sarah Essen, while his slovenly hag of a wife pours herself another drink in the background (there’s a quick reference to her text-messaging somebody, which may mean Miller’s laying the groundwork here for her to somehow be responsible for the Grayson family murders—which would make about as much sense as Dick Grayson being revealed as the villain of THE DARK KNIGHT STRIKES AGAIN). There’s a genuinely funny scene with Jimmy Olsen visiting Vicki Vale in her hospital room, but Miller’s propensity for perversity ruins it. The phrase “the Goddamned Batman” is used not once, not twice, but thrice. The Goddamned Batman finally tracks down the killer of Grayson’s parents, only to run off and join forces with the ever out-of-place Black Canary. The Goddamned Batman also makes reference to having gained a kid sidekick, but neither Dick nor Robin is anywhere to be seen in this issue—presumably, he’s still playing with the axe collection (?) in the Goddamned Batcave. God-damn.

DUST
This new Image series is set in some sort of alternate timeline where something or other blah blah blah you know what? When you start your new, self-contained miniseries off with a page of exposition and two pages of character bios, you’re already in big trouble. Just let the damn story tell itself, okay?



CHEMIST
On the other hand, this four-issue Image series starts out much more promisingly. A French-Canadian underground chemist gets mixed up in a drug deal gone wrong, and goes on the run with the requisite gorgeous fugitive. Not exactly groundbreaking stuff, but Jay Boose’s art is expressive and fun, and the characters are revealed through story and dialogue. Which is how it should be.

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #14
I’d sort of lost track of this series about two issues in, but this SINESTRO CORPS WAR tie-in makes me think I should get back on board with it. Soranik Tu, the GL member from Sinestro’s planet Korugar, has a run-in with her diabolical predecessor while the GL planet Mogo (along with other Green Lanterns Stel and the Green Man) meets his scary-ass opposite number in the Sinestro Corps. The art, by Patrick Gleason and Angel Unzueta, is a bit shaky at times, but the story is pretty cool; Sinestro isn’t just content to destroy Soranik Tu, he wants her to follow in his fascistic footsteps. Man, that guy is bad news. That mustache of his was just made for evil twirling. As much as I’m loving this crossover, I’m hoping its quality isn’t diluted by the just-announced SINESTRO CORPS PRESENTS one-shots.

STAR-LORD #1
Speaking of space operas, this new mini is part of Marvel’s big ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST crossover, which seems to be being overshadowed by WORLD WAR HULK (just as the original ANNIHILATION event was eclipsed by CIVIL WAR). Peter Quill, AKA Star-Lord, is asked to lead a suicide mission of “volunteers” against the cosmic menace of the Phalanx. His team is a who’s who of Marvel nostalgia, featuring Eighties obscurities like Rocket Raccoon and Bug from MICRONAUTS. Timothy Green’s elegant art recalls early Travis Charest, and the concept is a cool one (the similarities to THE DIRTY DOZEN are brought up by Quill himself, thank you very much). Unfortunately, this is a pretty talky first issue, where the Phalanx threat itself is off-panel for the duration. Not the most exciting first installment, but this has the potential to be an entertaining series.

DOKTOR SLEEPLESS #1/BLACK SUMMER #1/CRECY GN
Three, count ‘em, three, new Warren Ellis books in one week. I’ve never made much secret of the fact that Ellis just doesn’t do it for me—I think he’s got a terrific grasp of pacing and storytelling (the man almost never goes for the easy out of a caption or a sound effect), but I don’t find his ideas all that compelling or original (though I do love PLANETARY, lemme tell ya). The Ellis Formula seems to go something like this:
BlahblahblahblahtalktalktalkbastardyaddayaddayaddaVIOLENCEVIOLENCEVIOLENCEVIOLENCEyaddayaddabastard. There’s a lot of “Hey, you guys like historical epics like 300? Well, here’s more of that stuff with WAY MORE GORE AND CURSING!”. Or, “Hey, you guys love superheroes but you hate George Bush, right? Well, here’s a comic where a superhero kills the fucking President! With GORE AND CURSING!” Or, “Hey, remember when I did TRANSMETROPOLITAN? Well, I’ve got this new guy who’s like that only a mad scientist, who says things like ‘I am Science Jesus now’! Is that edgy or what? With GORE AND CURSING!” Sheesh. Can’t I just have the finale to PLANETARY instead?